Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
