Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
