I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am midnight drunk by noon
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
