operation have a gay friend backfired
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
