hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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