there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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