if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
