i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
