He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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