could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize