I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
