no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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