All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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