i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
