Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
