It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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