so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
