i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
