So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
