I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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