I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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