Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She said her name was "party"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
