You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
