i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
