i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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