Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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