Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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