She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
