just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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