I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
