Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize