You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
