I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
