dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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