i think i have two assholes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
