where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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