It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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