I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she looked like the before picture.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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