i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
