You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize