I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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