It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
