I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
