I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
