Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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