dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
