Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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