Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
