I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
