What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
