Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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