as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
