so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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