I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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