peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
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I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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