I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
