ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
