It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
