He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
